just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
