OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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