Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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