4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
