I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
