would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
