i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize