Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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