I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize