I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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