Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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