awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Two words: nipple clamps
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