I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm always down for nudity.
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