i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
