party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize