you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
