a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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