I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize