just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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