And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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