The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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