YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
