yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
