So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
