i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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