Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
