Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
