He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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