I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
