Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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