I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
