After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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