Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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