OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is wine microwaveable?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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