Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
