i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
