you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
