i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My dick has a subreddit
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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