just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
