Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
