At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
