You were right. It hurts to walk today.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize