I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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