i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
