whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
