This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
