Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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