What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
nutella sex= disaster
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
