What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
