we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
