I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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