Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
