is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
