To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
