Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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