How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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