I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
