I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
