do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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