By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
