apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
