I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
