dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
