I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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