We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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