if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
