is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
