OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's Friday. Sex?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
