Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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